No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
