Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
