I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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