porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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