i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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