Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There's always time for handjobs
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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