he wants to bone in the snuggie
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
