Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
