Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I have aggressive nipples.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
