my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
