He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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