you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
