so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
