yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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