Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
