Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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