Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
