I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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