He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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