I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
