And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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