just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
