im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
