Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
