I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
