I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
