were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
