He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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