I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
