Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
