You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
