life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
