Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
