This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
