I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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