If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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