so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Randomize
