I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm jealous of your bromance
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
