ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
