Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
