We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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