Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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