And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
