youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
