Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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