This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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