I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
