it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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