get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
operation have a gay friend backfired
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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