Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
