I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
