Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
