My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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