That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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