So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
be right there i have to get my cape
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
