apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
