Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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