If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
