you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
