matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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