doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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