I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
