I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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