I seem to have left my pride at pride
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Randomize
