The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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