took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
