We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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