I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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