Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
smell my finger.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
