it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
