Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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