Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
